Airing out my Dirty Dishes

So I get this new cookbook and go on and on about how great it's going to be cooking all these delicious desserts, and how much more interesting this whole process is going to be from now on.

And then I disappear.

I know, I know, I'm a terrible blogger. And everyday I think about this site and wonder if people are checking it, wondering where the hell I went and thinking about what a slack blogger I am. I started this whole thing to give me something to do in my free time, something that would be challenging but also fulfilling, and now it's become something that is sort of stressful. Not because I don't have the time or don't want to cook and blog about it, but because this

is what my kitchen perpetually looks like. And that's only the sink. I know I always say this, but whoever decided women were just natural born cleaners has clearly never lived with four women. I walk in and see the pile of dishes and our counters so covered with crap that I don't even have enough room to make a sandwich, and I start to itch and wring my hands, and hold my head, until I just have to leave the room. I live with 3 other girls and even though we have a dishwasher, the pots and pans just keep piling up. Don't get me wrong, I do my part to load and unload the dishwasher whenever I can, and make sure to always clean my dishes immediately after I'm finished with them. But there's only so much one person can do.

Oddly though, my roommates will go through random clean sweeps, thoroughly cleaning just one area of the house. For example, the other day, someone cleaned the bathroom so thoroughly I actually felt like I could walk around in it barefoot and didn't want to gag when looking into our sink. Or, someone will sweep and vacuum the front hall so that it doesn't look like a herd of wild boars just went barreling through.

The other night one of the girls was making dinner for a friend, so she went about cleaning the kitchen. Yay! I thought. Finally, the sink will be empty again and we won't be in danger of being condemned by the city's department of health. I walked into the kitchen to make some dinner, and I am greeted with the smell of lemony cleaning product. I start to get excited, see the counter has been completely wiped clean and notice our kitchen stools are resting on it upside down. She must be getting ready to sweep or mop the floor. But then I notice that the lemony smell is coming from the can of Pledge she is using. To polish our wooden stools. Our $8, pieces of crap wooden stools. I look to my right and lo and behold the sink is still full of dirty dishes. Seriously?

It's sort of like the time someone cleaned and disinfected the kitchen sink. What about all those dirty dishes you may ask? Oh, no problem, I'll just put them over here on the counter, out of the way. And then leave them there. For days. Meanwhile, the sink is clean enough to eat out of. Perfect! We'll just skip the dishes all together.

Before I realized I would have to climb over this mountain of dirty dishes in order to reach the oven, and was planning on actually cooking and posting something real, I was going to ask all of you lurkers out there to DELURK! and leave me a comment. You see, there are a few blogs, both food and non-food related, that I read obsessively. But typically, I only stumble upon said blogs after numerous posts have already been published. So what I do is sit at my computer and devour months, or sometimes years worth of material in just a few settings. As the number of unread postings dwindle, I start to get anxious that I won't be able to support my habit because I'll have to start relying on the writer to post new material, which I'll be forced to read at a painfully slow pace. But since I typically read blogs that are already well into their prime, I very rarely post comments, mostly because the writer is not going to read a comment on a post that is 2 years old. This habit carries over even into present day, and I staunchly refuse to comment on any of the blogs I read, even when I think I have really witty and funny things to contribute. Which is always, clearly.

I have no idea why I am like this, but I suspect there are others like me out there, some of which (hopefully) read my blog. So, I invite all you silent but nonetheless obsessive readers to post a comment, just a quick hello to let me know that you're out there, that you missed me, or that you're sick and tired of waiting for another post, dammit!

Thinking about it now, this post may not be the best one to ask you to do that on, considering I've probably lost half, if not all of my readers by now, being the delinquent blogger I am. I also realize this opens me up to the possibility that no one will comment, meaning no one actually *is* reading this blog. And if that happens, fine. I'll deal with it, will probably cry a little inside, and then through a thick fog of denial, decide that it's just because I haven't updated in so long. Or that you all just don't take direction well. Either way, I think I'm covered.

Anyway, I'll be back cooking when being in my kitchen doesn't make me want to claw my eyeballs out.

...But First

So I know you all logged on expecting to find another delectable tale about making Apple and Poppy Seed Cake, and I was all set to make it, had all the ingredients, when I realized...I don't have the whisk attachment for my KitchenAid Mixer. 

Fail.

So, since I'm not exactly up to the task of whipping egg whites into submission (or firm peaks) by hand, I'll have to pick something else to make while I go about getting a whisk attachment. 

In the meantime though, look what I got in the mail today!!!

sorry about the ugly blue sticker, I was too excited to take it off before taking the picture 

Thomas Keller's newest cookbook! But since this will only keep me occupied for the next few hours, I invite you (if you want) to check out the links I posted on the side of the page. These are Carol Blymire's blogs, the person who really inspired me to write mine. Read and enjoy (but not more than you enjoy mine). I'll be back with another recipe soon, I promise!

Lemon Posset and Shortbread

Growing up, we had our fair share of junk food in the house: chips, soda, chocolate chip cookies, pretty much the basics, and we were never at a loss for something good to snack on. The few things my mom wasn't a big fan of were things like Little Debbie, Entenmann's, Kool Aid, products that were packed with sugar and mass produced. And because I didn't have them in my house, I was always eager to trade at the lunch table for one of those soft and delicious oatmeal cookie pies or a chocolatey swiss cake roll that I would delicately unroll as I ate it. But the one thing I always wanted to like but could never choke down was Sunny D. It masquerades as orange juice when in reality it contains only about 2% of real fruit juice. At birthday parties or friend's houses, I would always thirst after the bright orange drink that I never got to enjoy at home, but as soon as I took a swig, the citric acid combined with all the sugar would begin to burn my throat and I would have to guzzle water to dull the pain.

What's my point? You may ask, and why am I rambling on about this disgusting beverage? Because when I tried this Lemon Posset, that familiar burning sensation began to tickle the back of my throat. Given that a burning sensation isn't typically the response that I want my body to have from a dessert, you can probably guess how I felt about this one. But the preparation is really simple so here it is.

I juiced four lemons into a shallow pan and added the caster sugar. Caster sugar here in the states is known by its other identity, superfine sugar, which can be difficult to find in regular grocery stores. Clark almost exclusively uses caster sugar in her recipes unless she is making an icing or otherwise decorating a dessert, so I knew it was something I was going to have to eventually locate, even if that meant ordering it online. I did some research and determined that Fresh Market (love of my life) carries it, but I was prepared to make this dish using regular granulated sugar since I didn't think I would make it out to Fresh Market this weekend. As luck would have it though, as I was getting the rest of the ingredients for these dishes at Ukrops, there was caster sugar, staring me in the face. And yes, it was even called caster sugar. I considered buying out their whole stock (about 10 1lb bags) because knowing my luck, the next time I go to get it, it will miraculously be gone, but I restrained myself and only got one.

I put the lemon-sugar mixture over a medium-low heat and stirred to incorporate the sugar and lemon juice.

I continued stirring until all the sugar dissolved, and then stirred occasionally as I brought the mixture to a boil. This basically resulted in a beautiful, thick lemon syrup that I kind of wanted to lick off the spoon.

Once all the sugar had dissolved

after the syrup had come to a boil

Meanwhile, I began warming heavy cream in a separate pot. 

I did this very slowly as I didn't want the cream on the bottom of the pot to heat too quickly and burn. Once the lemon syrup boiled, I poured it into a bowl, but kept it close to the stove to keep warm. When the cream finally boiled, (after at least 40 minutes. Ok, so maybe I was a bit paranoid about the burning thing. But really, have you ever tasted burnt cream? It's disgusting and there's no CPR to be done to save it.) I whisked it into the lemon syrup mixture. I then poured this through a sieve that I had lined with cheesecloth. 

Using a ladle, I divided the mixture between four ramekins and put them in the fridge to set 

which supposedly takes about 2 hours. After about 2 1/2 hours, we took one out to try it. It was still very creamy, and hadn't set like I thought it would. It had the consistency of a thin pudding rather than a thick custard, but the recipe doesn't indicate what the correct texture should be. It had an intense lemon flavor but was also incredibly sugary, hence the burning sensation in the back of my throat. A few hours later, I tried another ramekin to see if it had set a little more fully, and also to give it a second chance. The texture was a little firmer, but the taste was the same, super tangy and intensely sugary. I could only eat about half of it.

Meanwhile, I had started on the Shortbread. The Lemon Posset and Shortbread are not technically to be served together, but I thought the posset would need a little texture to accompany it and decided Shortbread would be a good match. 

First, I combined the flour and caster sugar in a mixing bowl. 

Then, using my fingers, I mixed in room temperature butter. 

Once this was partially combined, I added about 1/2 a teaspoon of vanilla extract. The recipe calls for vanilla seeds from a vanilla pod, but when I wrote "vanilla" on my grocery list, I dumbly crossed it out once I got to the store since I knew I had vanilla extract at home....not smart. Anyway, I substituted with vanilla extract, which I think worked pretty well. I continued to work the mixture with my hands until it formed a dough, and then formed it into a ball. 

I transferred this to a piece of parchment, dusted with flour, and flattened the dough slightly. 

Using a rolling pin, I rolled it out until it was about 1cm thick.

Using a sharp knife, I cut "oblong" shapes out of the dough and transferred them to a parchment-lined baking sheet. To me, oblong meant rectangle, but I really should have used a ruler, because I ended up with some rectangles and some squares. 

This recipe makes 15 cookies, but I ended up with about 20 plus a few scraps of extra dough, so I don't know if I cut my oblongs too small or perhaps rolled the dough a little too thinly. In the long run, it didn't really seem to matter. I put the dough in the oven for 15 minutes, then turned the pan and baked for another 10 minutes. The cookies weren't quite as brown as I wanted them, so I left them in for another 2 minutes, and then took them out of the oven. While still warm, I dusted them evenly with some granulated sugar and left them on the tray to cool, which didn't take long. 

If the Lemon Posset was a disappointment, the Shortbread exceeded my expectations. It was flaky and buttery, a little dense and pleasantly chewy, just like Shortbread should be. The sugar on top added just the right touch of sweetness.

Next Indulgence: Apple and Poppy Seed Cake